I said I’d write this after I finished reading on the subject. Partly that was because I think it’s irresponsible to hold impassioned opinions you haven’t researched at all, especially regarding the wellbeing of youth. I don’t want to be like most adults and just say I’m arguing in their best interest—without actually having that backed up by empirical data.
But there was another reason too, I wanted (at least in part) to put off writing this. I feel a lot of pressure within and outside the community. I want to be a good example for outsiders, and I also don’t want to disappoint people within my community who admire me.
Both of these are poor reasons. And for the first, I believe it’s detrimental to youth. If we choose to “look good” we also choose to perpetuate the same messages as the rest of society: That sex is harmful to young people, that youth are incapable of experiencing and desiring pleasure. These are both lies and they’re lies that hurt youths in a variety of ways. Again, you should read Harmful to Minors, or at least the parts I’ve compiled if nothing else.
I think it’s very hard to have a nuanced opinion on this topic when the norm is a complete disregard of all information that goes against the common narrative. Most people have taken “can’t legally consent” very literally, and think young people are incapable of ever knowing what they want. Even if, like in the case of teenagers, they’re informed. There’s also the assumption sex is harmful, which comes from absolutely no evidence.
These things together lead to a very uninformed but solid argument that claims to be based in youth’s best interest. People who are convinced they’re morally righteous will completely ignore evidence to the contrary. That makes all of this much harder to talk about, research and evidence be damned.
I believe in sharing my opinion anyway. Two of my favorite people in history, Diogenes and Adler, both found their historical fame through expressing controversial viewpoints. Both encouraged others to do the same. The reason I admire them both is because they went against cultural norms to share what they truly believed in—what they believed was for the ultimate good of all. I want to be that kind of person too.
That’s all. Thank you if you’ve read all of this. Have a nice day 💙
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