I see why people are concerned from an outside perspective. Right now our society has the mindset of “If you’re unrelated to a child and talking to them you must be trying to exploit and abuse them” and add that along with the stigma of me being a MAP… Though thats really not as big of a deal in my sexuality as other’s find it to be. Anyway, to people who don’t know me it’s a bad look.
I’ve also mentioned our system’s experiences of being abusive. I don’t think that looks the way people imagine it does. Abuse is not a black and white thing even slightly, it’s like a thick fog that obscures both people. One of them might react worse than the other though, and thats where power imbalances in a relationship factor into abuse. I know all this because I’ve been living it and fixing it thread by thread. Being abusive is even bad for the abuser’s, in fact it’s a symptom something is wrong. Likely an unmanaged personality disorder. So yes, I will defend abusers. I forgive the people who’ve abused me, and I forgive myself and our system.
Anyway… MAP + talking to teenagers + even about sex!! (no rp or flirting calm down) + as a past abuser (of some sort) = Most people don’t want me to even exist near young people. And I think thats completely ridiculous, because I’m safer now than I’ve literally ever been. Not only that, but I have experience and information to offer that they’re not getting from any other adults in their lives. Some is very unique to me and paraphilias. Honestly, I need to talk to them more. I need to show them they matter. Because I’m just around, I don’t spend much dedicated one on one time with any of them.
If you care more about how it “comes off” that I’m talking to young people, or you can’t accept that people can change… instead of valuing the impact I’m having on them in a world they feel abandoned in, then I think you have unfortunate priorities. Every single adult that actually talks to our youth is crucial. They’re abandoned. Way too many don’t feel emotionally safe with their families and feel abandoned by everyone. If you would take away a few adults who care just because they’re MAPs, or just because they used to be harmful… I think you don’t care enough how ostracized from us our own youth are. Age segregation is real, they need us, it’s our literal jobs as adults.
“It takes a village” isn’t just a saying – it’s true. Every one of us who gives into the pressure of pedo panic and avoids talking to young people is someone who doesn’t really care enough. Another sad thing is I know multiple MAPs who love young people and miss talking to them, but they’re too scared. What’s the normie’s or anti’s excuse? Don’t have the energy? Feel too awkward? Well, maybe you don’t care enough. I’m not going to be like you, and you should do better if you can manage it too. Our youth need us, and things need to change. Protecting them doesn’t mean socially isolating them, they need all the influence they can get. That’s how growing works! Variety of perspectives and information is how people grow. Which is why people who never explore the other side of an argument stagnate in echo chambers and fail to socially evolve. Our young shouldn’t be growing up in homes like that, but they are. And that means we all need to be doing better, if we claim to care about kids.