Hi, I’m just sending this to inform you. I hope you’ll take some time to think things over.
Insecurity is not an insult, when people say misogynists and racists insecure it’s because relying on social status tied to individual traits (which you were likely born with) to feel good about yourself is an indicator of low self esteem. This is also known as a superiority complex (which comes from insecurity) Secure people don’t dehumanize others to feel good about who they are. They value things that come from within and have personal meaning, rather than what exterior traits and accomplishments society values.
Insecurity is also tied to insecure attachment styles (which comes from attachment theory) and I recommend looking into it to understand more about how insecurity works.
Some links: https://positivepsychology.com/attachment-theory/ , https://youtu.be/AMUN9M9H3U4? , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3nXYVlPrcY , https://authenticrelating.co/blog/2017/11/10/the-three-levels-of-conversation/ (focus on relational)
You may have heard the phrase “toxic masculinity” before and might have assumed it means “masculinity is toxic” which isn’t true. Toxic masculinity refers to multiple ways in which masculinity is pushed in a toxic way, and one of these is by teaching boys and men to suppress emotions. This happens in childhood as boys internalize that it’s wrong to be sensitive, express emotions and vulnerability. This is also something that keeps men from looking into mental health, leading them to have less understanding of their minds and emotions than most women do. There is a growing movement of men who are exploring their mental health.
When you experience the joy of becoming your whole self you wont want to cling to hatred and dehumanization anymore. What it has to offer doesn’t even come close to the freedom and self love of becoming your true self; Whoever you want to be. You’ll find passions you never knew you had. It also opens up the possibility of true intimacy, you can’t be truly known and loved by other’s if you hide parts of yourself even from yourself. In true intimacy you can share any feeling as you feel it.
Good luck on your journey if you take it! It’s worth it and it’s never too late.
If you’re sending this to a woman you can just leave out the toxic masculinity bit. Most bigots I’ve encountered have been men.